More Pitches at Bookends

Jessica Faust at Bookends did another six pitch critiques today. Again, I recommend following the link to read her post. While her critiques are good, there's very little for me to quote this time that will make sense out of context. Maybe:

What’s the real conflict here? When does the story really get going? Does it start moving at the Breaking of the World or the pact with the Ethereans? Is it about Ellusia or about her father? I think you need to clarify exactly who the protagonist is and what the conflict is.